This Week's "Ten"

I go through phases of writing things down, and I am currently trying to be back "in the phase". Holland comes up with some funny stuff. She is precocious. She is inquisitive. She's curious and creative. She loves words - short ones, long ones, silly ones, dirty ones.... Words. Words. Words. She's our "word girl".

So having said that, I am going to dedicate this week's "ten" to some of the funny things I have heard recently, and there are a couple that are uncensored. They aren't bad, they are just words of a four-year-old trying to explore the world both literally and figuratively. You have to understand that some of these things are just random streams of consciousness so that makes it all the more funny. No context. No associations. No connections. Just pure and natural speaking of the mind!

1. The other evening, we had a "girls night out" and went to see Beauty and the Beast with our friends Melissa, Lindsey, and Erin. It was a wonderful production, and a great evening. On the way home, Holland was thinking about the show and recounting what she had seen. She said, (in a growly, mean voice), "Mommy, Guston was MEAN. He was CONCEITED. And he was RUDE." I replied, "Yep, you're right. He was all of those things." A few seconds went by, and then she asked me (ever so inquisitively), "What does conceited mean, anyway?!".

2. We were are Fish trap Lake yesterday for Memorial Day, and Holland and her Grandma went on a "Mystery Adventure Walk" in which they were tracking animals, and writing down their observations. Apparently along the way, they saw what they thought was a big, black "string". Holland bent down to pick it up, and it hissed at her and slithered away. Later, she was re-telling the story and she told us, "That snake scared the freak out of me".

3. We were lying in bed the other evening doing our night-time cuddles and bedtime business, and out of the blue, Holland said, "Mommy, I wish that all of my friends and everyone in my family that I love could live in our house with us".

4. This morning, I needed to do a photo shoot with Holland for my photography class, and I can no longer just ask her to pose for me, or go to a certain place, or put on a certain outfit - not without serious bribing, anyway. So this morning I told her I would bribe her, and she immediately got excited and was extremely compliant (funny how that works). She didn't even know what the bribe was! Anyway, I was a little slow in getting her bribe taken care of after the shoot, so after a few minutes went by, she said, "Mommy, I'm ready for my bribe now." I was still a little slow on the uptake (probably because I was chasing Dylan around trying to capture my assignment). A few more minutes went by, and she asked me in a slightly whiny, sing-songy voice, "Mommy, why aren't you bribing me?". "I'm gonna bribe myself. Hmpff." And off she gallivanted to the snack drawer!

5. One of Dylan's favorite things to do right now is to pull hair. She loves to eagerly crawl over to where ever Holland is playing, and reach up and grab a handful of hair. Sometimes Holland is more tolerant than other times. This day in particular, Holland took on the I'm-gonna-be-a-good-big-sister-and-make-this-a-teaching-time role. So, she ever so gently took Dylan's hand and pryed it off of her hair and said, "No-No, Dylan. My hair is not a rope toy. It is not for pulling. No-No, Dylan." "Here, you can pull this."

6. I bought a few, new pairs of shorts the other day and one of them is plaid. I put them on, and Holland looked at me with this strange look on her face, "Are you wearing Daddy's underwear?"

7. Holland has been very curious lately about the upper female body parts (i.e., boobs). She has tried to touch them and squeeze them lately which she hasn't ever done before. I think part of it is that she has seen me nursing Dylan and is she wants to know about this milk thing. Anyway, the other night she said, "Mommy, I wish I was your boob." And I replied (very surprisingly, mind you), "You do?". "Why would you want to be my boob?". "Well.... she answered, I like your boobs, and I don't know what it would be like to be a boob because I haven't ever been a boob before.". "Do you know what it's like to be a boob?". And, I don't quite remember how I ended this conversation, but I did. I was gracious about it, but I definitely ended it!

8. One of Dylan's nicknames is "Dylan McMillan". Just a fun play on words. Holland came up with her own nickname and her own play on words - she calls Dylan, "Baby McMaby". (and she hasn't ever even seen Grey's Anatomy!)

9. We were driving down the road the other day, and she said, "Mom, dinosaurs are nice, except for the egg stealers and the sharp tooth."

10. I think Holland is starting to notice boys a little more these days. I am hoping it is just a fluke because I'm not prepared for this. Anyway, she saw an older high school aged boy the other day, and she wanted to say hi to him, but instead, she buried her head in my side, and wanted to scoot away. Later, she told me, "Mommy, I was shy about that boy."


So, there you have it. Funny things a four-year-old says in the raw.